Miscarriage and Infant Loss Support

Every human life is precious.

MyCatholicDoctor understands that the loss of your child through miscarriage brings about many physical, emotional and spiritual challenges as well as many practical ones. We are so sorry for your loss. We seek to provide you with the support and resources you need during this challenging time.

Physical

If you are in the process of having a miscarriage, or believe that you may be experiencing a miscarriage we urge you to seek local support through your doctor’s office or if necessary, your local ER. It is very important that your health is assessed in person and tailored to your unique needs. We care about you!

MyCatholicDoctor is available for consultations regarding any physical complications that may arise after a miscarriage. Explore our other services here.

Emotional

Grieving the loss of a child to miscarriage can bring about a wide range of emotions. No matter how many weeks pregnant you were you have a right to your feelings and your grief. Learning to cope with this great loss is a process and sometimes you need someone to walk beside you in this journey. MyCatholicDoctor, with the help of Caroline Vrazel, has curated a list of recommended Catholic miscarriage and infant loss resources.

Spiritual

With the loss of a child many spiritual questions may arise that you have not considered before. “What does the Church teach about miscarriage? My baby was not baptised, are they in Heaven? What is Limbo and is it real? These are very common questions that many couples contemplate when they are faced with the loss of their baby.

Though not explicitly stated in Church teaching, both the Catechism, Liturgy and Saints give us hope and reason to believe that our children are with God in Heaven.

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Life is precious

“Every human life, from the moment of conception until death, is scared because the human person has been willed for its own sake in the image and likeness of the living and holy God.” -Catechism of the Catholic Church 2319

This is true if the child lives 10 days in the womb, for 10 years or for 10 decades. Age does not determine your baby’s humanity or worth. Jeremiah 1:5 reminds of us, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I consecrated you.”

Your child was known, created and loved by God no matter how long he or she lived!

Salvation for unbaptized babies: Heaven vs Limbo

Many families are concerned about what has happened to their baby’s soul if the child was not baptised before death.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church 1261 states, “As regards to children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused Him to say: “Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,” allows us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism.”

The International Theological Commission’s sought to explore this delicate topic with their document entitled, “The Hope of Salvation for Infants Who Die Without Being Baptised.” They begin by explaining that Limbo, (a theory defining it as a place where the souls of unbaptised babies reside rather than Heaven due to the effects of Original Sin) though around since the Middle Ages, has NEVER been an official Church teaching and is not to be taken as such.

Be at peace. The love and mercy of God are great!

“The Lord’s acts of mercy are not exhausted, His compassion is not spent. They are renewed each morning – great is your faithfulness! The Lord is my portion, I tell myself, therefore I will hope in Him.” Lamentations 3:22-24

Practical

One day you are planning for a baby. The next day you are planning a funeral/memorial service/burial. These are challenges and costs that many families face after losing their babies. There are many options for Funerals, Blessings and Commendations that the Church offers to families after a loss. There are also many resources regarding burial options and help for associated costs.

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Recommended Miscarriage and Infant Loss Resources

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“Every human life, from the moment of conception until death, is sacred because the human person has been willed for its own sake in the image and likeness of the living and holy God.”

Catechism of the Catholic Church 2319

``Your faith spoke for this child. Baptism for this child was only delayed by time. Your faith suffices. The waters of your womb - were they not the waters of life for this child? Look at your tears. Are they not like the waters of baptism? Do not fear this. God’s ability to love is greater than our fears. Surrender everything to God.``

St. Bernard of Clairvaux, writing to a couple who had lost a baby to miscarriage and who worried for their child’s soul because he wasn’t baptized

``We give them back to you, O Lord, who first gave them to us; and as you did not lose them in the giving so we do not lose them in the return. Not as the world gives do you give O Lord. For what is yours is ours also, if we belong to you. Life is unending because love is undying and the boundaries of this life are but an horizon and an horizon is but the limit of our vision. Lift us up, strong Son of God, that we may see further. Strengthen our faith that we may see beyond the horizon. And while you prepare a place for us as you have promised, prepare us also for that happy place; that where you are we may be also, with those we have loved, forever.``

Bede Jarrett, OP

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